I’m only human

During October, I was interviewed by the fab Sarah Williams, creator of Tough Girl Challenges. Ever since then, I have been able to open up and be honest with myself, by remembering I am only human and that it’s OK to not be OK.

Am I really a tough girl?

Sarah set up Tough Girl Challenges as a way of motivating and inspiring women and girls, so when she called me up for an interview for her Tough Girl Podcast, I couldn’t refuse.

Sarah asked me lots of questions. Why did I start Powered by Me? What was the impact on my life? What were the biggest challenges I’d had to face? You can listen to the full podcast interview here to find out.

It had really been the first time that I’d spoken to someone I didn’t know about Powered by Me in great detail. It was the first time I’d truly reflected on what I had achieved, why I did it, the ups and downs, and it was also the first time I had publicly spoken to a stranger about what I was going through – a divorce.

After listening back to the interview I was proud of myself. Proud of what I’d achieved. Proud that I was now on a podcast. Proud that others thought I was a tough girl. But deep down inside I was going through a roller coaster of emotions, and for me, this roller coaster meant in my head, I was far from a tough girl.

If you’re human – then chances are you’ve probably experienced some terrible situation

I’ve always thought myself mentally and physically resilient. And this year has proved this – to some extent. In Summer of this year, my world came crashing down. What I thought was my whole life ahead of me planned, was taken away from me like someone pulling a carpet from underneath without any warning. My husband told me he was leaving me, with little explanation. We had been together for 7 years, married 1, and I felt like a fool for not even realising he was unhappy.

I’m not going to bore you with the details. This isn’t me pouring my heart and soul into 500-something words. But it is me being totally honest about what has happened to me, during a time where others around me might think I am this super woman, one that is resilient, strong, confident, happy, and this couldn’t be further from the truth.

I am opening up about this in the hope that it might help someone else going through a turbulent time. I also hope that it helps me to help myself and that by opening up about going through one of the toughest times in my life so far, it somehow puts a stamp of approval on the fact that I am not doing near as much with my Powered by Me challenge as I had hoped to. And that’s OK. So long as I still am able to complete the challenge day by day, to me, that’s all that matters right now.

Frankly who cares if I don’t blog as much, or post as much on social media. My friends, family, colleagues and Powered by Me acquaintances will be happy just knowing I am getting up and out of bed every day, which right now, is all I can do.

Day by day, with 29 days to go

Right now, all I can work on is getting through each day. I need to take the time to fix myself, in whatever way I can and recognise that this will take time. What I do know is that staying active and continuing with my Powered by Me challenge is helping me somewhat. It isn’t going to heal everything, but it certainly helps to relieve my anger, stress and low moments.

And I take comfort in the fact that I have only 29 days to go until I have completed my year-long human-powered challenge – Powered by Me. Right now I don’t know how I’ll conclude, or even celebrate, but what I do know is that I am 100% certain I will finish it.

Until the next time I can update you, over and out. As always, thanks for the support.


 

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